Dear Santa Claus,
Well here we are once again old man. Another year and another letter. I know that it is only the middle of November but I really believe that you can never start writing your Christmas wish list letter to early. I have been a pretty good boy this year…well….please do not believe everything that you read or see. I never knew that a baseball bat would break a pane of glass so easy. I mean, if you base your belief of baseball physics on what the Detroit Tigers in the World Series, you would think that it wouldn’t break glass damn it.
I guess I should ask how you, the old lady, the little ones and the reindeer are doing? Did you enjoy your time off? Did you go get some much needed R and R? Did you get what you wanted for Christmas, because if you didn’t get what you anted it makes me feel like my chance is slim to none.
Well, let’s get this started shall we?
Out of all the video games that have come out this year, the two that I really want is Halo 4 by 343 Industries and WWE 13 by THQ. I have bought both of these franchises for a long time and I really, really, really need these games Santa.
I love Halo. I do. I may suck at it but gosh darn it I love the story. Master Chief is the freaking man Santa! He is a bad ass and the story that he has been a part of is something that keeps pulling me back in. Please Santa…..please!
WWE 13 is a way for me to bring my old wrestling e-fed wrestler,Nightmare The Fallen Angel, to life. Every year I create him in create a wrestler and have a blast as I run him through the roster of the game. You know you want to see Nightmare decimate John Cena and Randy Orton.
I know I asked for this last year Santa and yes, once again I am asking for a chance to see Nightwish live in concert. This is a band that I love unconditionally and I truly would feel blessed if I ever got the chance to see them play.
Marco Hietala is my favorite musician and singer, as well, the man may be the hardest working person in music. Even though the band and Anette Olzon parted ways a few months ago, I really think that Floor Jansen will take the band to the next level. PLEASE SANTA…COME THROUGH FOR ME!!!!
Last year this time, I was asking for the return of Sidney Crosby and who would have thought that I would now be asking you to see that the NHL returns to playing hockey soon. I hate the lock out and it really has me bummed out Santa. I miss hockey…..alot and I need it back!
I do not know what you can do to finesse the talks between the owners and players, but I urge you to do something Santa. Hell, threaten to put Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr on the naughty list for life if you have to. If that doesn’t help push the negotiations forward, nothing will.
I am a fan of a lot of Europeans bands Santa and Epica is one, but I am not asking for Epica under the tree silly. Nope, I just want lead singer Simone Simons! Look at how beautiful she is Santa. Yup, Wow is right!
Now last year I asked for Scarlett Johansson and you skunked me on that idea. I will forget all about it if you do me this one solid dude. There are a lot of great reasons why I think this would be one of my most favorite gifts ever, well, I can think of two right off the bat!
Yes Santa, once again I am asking, pleading and begging for a Delorean under my tree for Christmas. I have always been infatuated with the Delorean and it has nothing to do with some campy movie trilogy. I love the look of the car, especially this one in black, ever since I can remember.
Please Santa, you know how bad ass I would look behind the wheel of this beast right? Oh man I am getting goosebumps just thinking about it. Hell Santa, trade your sled in for one of these babies. Just paint it a nice Christmas red with green trim. Would be epic!!
Well, that is the end of the letter and I will offer you the same deal as last year. Forget what that is Santa? Well here, let me get that for ya….
“Well Santa, I think you can see my list is not all that unreasonable. I mean, it is all things that should not be out of the ream of normal expectations for me right? Just to up the ante, I will leave you a bottle of Jack Daniels and some BBQ chicken wings. Screw the milk and cookies man! You need to enjoy yourself while do all this work! Tell Mrs. Claus I said hi and that I am sorry about the really inappropriate hug at the mall. I seriously meant to grab her arm.”
Well damn…………how did I mistakenly grab your wife like that again………….
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