The Truth About Mr. Mike Holmes….

I have been doing some research on Canadian contractor / superstar Mike Holmes and what I have found is truly amazing. As you know, Mr. Homes has been on television for a little while now and has been a part of many shows that include: Holmes on Homes, Holmes in New Orleans (this ran for one season) and Holmes Inspection. He has also started Holmes Homes which according to our friends at Wikipedia is:

“Through the Holmes Custom Home program homeowners work with selected builders and designers to create their preferred style of home while meeting Mike’s tough standards for quality and sustainability.

Holmes has partnered with several home builders across Canada to develop the Holmes Approved Homes program. The program ensures that homeowners get a high-quality, durable home that’s built to exceed industry standards. The goal of the program is to raise the bar for home building to above minimum industry standards. Each home is inspected by Mike Holmes Inspections several times during the building process.

His company is developing “Wind Walk”, the first Holmes Community, in southwest Alberta, a community of eco-friendly and sustainable homes with high standards for residential construction and design.

This is something that is very important and I can get behind. The man is doing good for the community it seems. He has also recieved some awards and commendations during his time on television. Again we turn to Wikipedia for the low down.

  • 2004 Gemini Awards – Viewers’ Choice Award 
  • On February 21, 2008 Holmes was awarded an Honorary Doctorate of Technology from the British Columbia Institute of Technology (BCIT).
  • 2009 Gemini Awards – Holmes in New Orleans: Best Lifestyle/Practical Information Series
Now Miss Lauren McDowell will tell you that her and I have had some, well, disagreements on Mr. Holmes of late. Now I first want to say I have watched him work on television and am also a proud Canadian just like Mr. Holmes. I truly respect him for that. I do poke fun at him, just as his wanting to always tear something apart for the littlest thing.
That picture sums it up quite nicelty actually. The real issue I have however is that Mr. Holmes has a secret. You see, he sets a very high and unrealistic standard for the average Canadian male to achieve. It is not humanly possible to be that perfect at your job. That is the key people. The secret I have to tell you, the one that HGTV and Mike Holmes himself wants to keep from you and the world is……Mike Holmes is a cyborg.
I know, it is out there eh? But let’s look at this realistically. Have you ever sat and watched as he starts picking apart a previous construction job, finding faults, quoting building codes and noticing when things are wrong just by looking at him? DO you wonder how he can be on so many television shows on the same day in different locations? No normal man can do this.
You see, Mike Holmes is what the Terminator movies and The Matrix movies were trying to warn us about. He is half machine and half Canadian man but is a whole lot of construction know how. Now you are probably thinking “If Mike Holmes is part machine, why was he created?” Well I did some digging. Mike Holmes was born in Halton Hills, Ontario in 1963. He did start to learn carpentry from his father at 6 years old but I can not confirm the age that he was made into a cyborg. I will continue to research this topic.

Now I did find out in the same province as Mr. Holmes, in Kingston to be exact, is a gentleman named John B Connor. Now what is remarkable about this is that in the Terminator movies, the robot killing machine was sent back in time to kill John Connor. What if Mr. Holmes was taken as a child by someone from the future who worked for Cyberdyne Systems and was actually transformed into a Terminator cyborg. He would retain his human memories emotions but when he is in Kingston, Ontario doing a television show, his killer robot cpu is activated and his mission is to kill John Connor? Oh my god…………………………………………..let that sink in for a moment.

I knew I was right all along on this one. We need John Connor to live as he is our only hope to stop Cyberdyne Systems from evolving in Skynet. As we know Skyent wants to exterminate the entire human race. Well played Mr. Holmes, get us to trust you and to like you, only to wipe us out. I am on to you.

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About Jason Huskins

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